I feel like I’m losing my perspective on life. What am I supposed to be doing for the rest of my life? I do go into the contemplative mode once in a while, but this is slightly unusual even for me. I never wanted to work in a corporate set up but here I am. I thought I would be working with books but I’m not. I should be writing, but I’m not. So what in this wide world am I supposed to be doing? What I lack is perspective. I need to get back in track somehow. But I don’t know how. And what’s the best thing about this ennui-filled phase? I am very happy almost satiated in my personal life. My professional life is also okayish. Nothing to either rave about or complain about either. Every time, I feel like complaining, I look around and a nirvanaish sense of how I’m lucky to be what I am, with who I am, and what I have pervades me making me almost guilty to want more. Is it ok to want more than what I have? Sometimes I feel like I have everything. Other times, I feel like I have nothing… My biggest fear is that life will pass me by before I discover what is it that I have to do in my life. I envy people who have discovered their calling in life: whatever it is. Knowing that I can still experiment is my only solace.