A different time, a different city, a different window

Moving back into the city where I studied is a really different experience. I wonder, is this what coming home feels like? I have moved back to Chennai. I also quit a rather high-profile job. But it’s not for the romantic reason like writing, which I do want to do. Many people I know threw sarcastic comments about coming back (Sample” Oh! So, you gave everything up to come back”?). So it is difficult to come back to where you once where rather than stay in the same place where you once moved. Contrary to popular belief, it takes more courage to come back than to stay away. This is something I would not have learnt had I stayed here all the time.

I don’t feel I have come back to the same city. The city feels familiar and different. It’s familiar in the sense nothing has changed large scale. But it’s different because I still fumble between choosing which language to communicate in (Tamizh or Hindi?), giving directions to the auto guys (“Go via Gemini flyover; I hope it’s not jammed at this time.”) This is because it’s changed and so have I. I still am a bit dazed and disoriented. I still feel like I am a guest here and will have to pack soon and go somewhere. I even had a dream where I was tensed and upset that even though I had packed so many things; there were so many others, which were still to be packed! But I have no regrets.

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One thought on “A different time, a different city, a different window

  1. “But it’s not for the romantic reason like writing, which I do want to do.”

    so whats the real reason then? i am curious bcoz i admire people who have the courage to give up something they have been enjoying -like a trade off – for something they believe in…is this also something like that?

    “I still feel like I am a guest here and will have to pack soon and go somewhere.”

    i feel like that just about everywhere, including home 🙂

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