Not to find the right words may ironically be proof that the right words are meant.
-Alain de Botton
Oftentimes in the middle of a conversation, I pause. I am searching for the perfect adjective. There is a perfect word for all occasions; all that I want to say. Sometimes though if the pause is long enough, the person on the other side of the conversation hotline may think I am lost in thought, or worse inept at finding words. But as Alain de Botton says, it’s often the contrary.
I have seen words escape my lips and fingers with grating regularity. The simplest explanation seems out of reach of the realm of words. It forms a nebulous cloud right above my head. A little to the right, actually. And when I reach out to grasp meaning, it moves further away. I am left with a poor substitute that means nothing because it’s not precisely what I want. Between thought and language, it’s the thought that comes first. Language cannot fit the thought sometimes.