Somewhere else

Do you feel like you are living a different life? Different from the one intended for you, that is. Like you have gotten off the wrong station on the way to your destination proper and couldn’t find your way back. So, you stayed. And in time participated in the activities of the place—the many decisions, the maddening pace, the little rebellions. You also fell in love with the sensuousness and life that the place exuded. (How heady and delightful they were!) Then you forgot that this was never the place you intended to get off. At first there was this nagging feeling that something was off kilter. Sometimes when you looked out of the window the noise receded and a sense of calm descended on you, you got the feeling that you belonged somewhere else. That you are here temporarily. That however beautiful, frightening, confusing and alive this place was, this was not YOUR place. You’d rather be somewhere else. Should be somewhere else. Must be somewhere else. At other times, while reading (always poetry, of late lyrical prose) a feeling strong enough to defy gravity gripped your insides. Invariably, someone would ask you a question (sometimes as innocuous as “how was the drink, madam?”) and you’d be pulled back to the pageantry of this world. The noise, the strange beauty and startling insights anchoring you again. At least, till the next time you float away. Do you feel like you are living a different life than from the one you intended? 

I do.

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10 thoughts on “Somewhere else

  1. Totally with you. One hundred per cent. I secretly think I was meant to be in London all my life. I am stuck here because I am paying for the crimes from my past, I am told. That’s just rubbish, I think. The things I am doing in this life, for a living specially, won’t ever ensure I find my ‘somewhere else’.

    This was a rather life-threatening, awakening sort of a write up. Thanks, er. 🙂

    1. Rohit: I know I should be in London! LOL! Maybe one day we will! Inshaallah! Nah, don’t think like that. You are here because you have work to do here. You will find your ‘somewhere else’ as I hope I will too.

      Life-threatening, it was not meant to be. I genuinely feel like this. And I have noticed that just when I want to disappear in thought, I would be brought back to earth. Awakening – it was not intentional. But if it helps, I am very happy! 😀

  2. @Rohit: You caught me on this one. True, reality isn’t fun. I think there is a time for everything and everything in its time. So your time will come too.

    @Pallavi: I know! 😀

  3. Rohit, Ben Okri is one of the fabulous writers who have a beautiful knack of creating complete inner lives of their characters. The outside world becomes almost a footnote to the rich inner lives. He is amazing. You must read him if you haven’t yet. “A Way of Being Free” is non-fiction; his fiction is equally beautiful, touching, and reveal hidden truths. 😀

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